Team 7 REACTS to Hate Comments!
by kingsymie
Summary: TEAM 7 are put in a room with a camera and read out the most hateful comments ever written about them. Read this YouTuber inspired theme ONESHOT and revel in laughter.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is dedicated to a friend who had been nagging me to write this in the form of a "Team 7 VLog", heavily inspired by how YouTubers these days do reaction videos. So here Team 7, all grown up and in their thirties, react to hate comments from people (some I genuinely picked from the internet, some I self-created and obviously the usernames are fake) and basically just respond in their own individual ways.**

 **This is meant in humor and in no way should hurt the sentiments of any fans out there. I hope you enjoy. Since this will be a lot of dialogue, I have kept it simple.**

 _ **HERE IT GOES...**_

*Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke step inside a well-lit room taking their seat on a couch. Sakura sits in the middle while Naruto sits on her left and Sasuke to her right.*

SAKURA: Wow, this is new.  
NARUTO: Yeah I never really believed I'd be doing this. I am the Hokage-ttebayo!  
SASUKE: Hn.

SAKURA: So how do we do this exactly?  
NARUTO: The description said that we were to read the hate comments we got on this laptop here *picks up the laptop on the glass table in front of them* and basically just see our reactions to them.  
SASUKE: Do we really have to read them all?  
SAKURA: I think we should only read the ones that we are comfortable with.  
NARUTO: What's the point of that then? We have got to read them all.  
SASUKE: *sighs*

After a few minutes of Naruto's clumsiness in operating the laptop.  
SAKURA: Ok, now that someone has finally opened up the page for us we can begin.  
SASUKE: Let's just get over with this already.  
NARUTO: Stop killing all the fun!

SAKURA: Ok. I am reading out the first one here. Mig98Zuarmy says- "What is this human obnoxiousness. That emo kid-" *laughs uncontrollably* "-who speaks out of his ass rather than his mouth and that ugly pink one whos always crazily stalking him around. The blonde one looks ok, but on some sort of constipation medication."  
*SILENCE*  
SAKURA: the ugly pink one? What do you mean, I have a name alright!  
NARUTO: What do you mean constipation medication? That's just stupid. You are stupid Mig98Zuarmy. *growls*  
SASUKE: *sighs* why did I even agree to do this again?  
NARUTO: He nailed your description.  
SASUKE: You won't be talking by the end of this.  
SAKURA: What do you mean crazily stalking? I was in no way a crazy stalker back then.

*camera pans to every single Sakura moment where she stares, clings, calls out, imagines and talks about Sasuke*

NARUTO: Well that was embarrassing.  
SAKURA: Oh lord. *blushes madly*  
SASUKE: Wow. Where do they find these clips?

NARUTO: Okay moving on, PepeHola says - "Why is Sas-gay such a faggot for Naruto. The whole point of their feud is friendship? More like whos top or bottom, ya feel me?"  
*instant silence*  
SASUKE: Did he just-?  
NARUTO: Yeah.  
SAKURA: *eyes turning from side to side nervously* the fans certainly have their way of interpreting.  
SASUKE: Interpreting? What nonsense. If anybody's the faggot it's NARUTO! I mean he chased me for 3 years.  
SAKURA: *eyes broaden*  
NARUTO: Woah hold it there "SAS-GAY". See how that sounds so perfect? That's 'cos it's meant for you! *crosses arms against chest and turns away from Sasuke*  
SASUKE: *crosses arms and turns away from Naruto*  
SAKURA: *mimes the words, what the fuck*

SAKURA: Now the third comment is by Maxnicococola, wow funny username there. He says- "Sometimes I think Sakura's boobs-" *rolls eyes* Here we go, "-got sucked into a storm but I can't rationalize that so imma just say HEY SASUKE you better enjoy that 13-year-old tween body of hers if you are into that sorta thing, you closet pedophile."  
NARUTO: *bursts into laughter and falls into couch slapping arms against his thigh repeatedly*  
SASUKE: *clears throat while keeping a straight face*  
SAKURA: *exchanges glances with Sasuke*  
SASUKE: I think she's perfect.  
SAKURA: *eyes tilt to look at Sasuke* the only pedophile here is YOU Maxnicococola! My husband is an amazing person and we are very happy. Thank you very much. *blushes*  
NARUTO: *catches breath and heaves deeply, gripping into his seat before turning to Sasuke and Sakura who are now scowling, goes back to normal*

NARUTO: Alright the next comment here, I don't really know who wrote this but it is mean as hell. Hey Sakura, you really want me to read this? *shows laptop screen to Sakura*  
SAKURA: Yeah, yeah go on. I might as well take one for the team.  
NARUTO: *clears throat* so it says, - "Sakura if you are reading this I want you to know what a lump of shit you are. You make me vomit in my own vomit. Your sense of clothing is so slutty, you just want attention and you are such a whore. Your name should actually Suckura Whoreuno. Your parents should have a used a condom. I feel bad for them, they were so traumatized after having you that they never had another child."  
SASUKE: How does one vomit in their own vomit?  
SAKURA: If only I knew. Wow. That was deep. Especially the part where he mentioned my parents. *laughs* I can't help agree on that a little. Like I bet the real reason I was an only child was that they never really liked me. *obviously kidding* Hey, Mom and Dad! If you are watching this we need to talk. *pointing finger at camera*  
NARUTO: Apparently you wore slutty clothing.  
SAKURA: Definitely. I was all about that whore game. *tilts face and purses lips, smiles deviously at camera*  
SASUKE: *chuckles*  
NARUTO: *laughs*

NARUTO: Sasuke-teme, read one. It's your chance.  
SASUKE: Why do I have to?  
NARUTO: Because you are not being a contribution here.  
SASUKE: *growls* *pulls laptop toward him and reads* MilesMikels writes - "Sakura is way too pretty for Sasuke to show his bitch ass attitude. He better straighten-" *puts laptop down*  
NARUTO: What happened? You have to read the whole thing!  
SAKURA: *blushing*  
NARUTO: Fine I'll do it. *pulls laptop* "He better straighten his dick out and get with her already or I'll beat the shit out of the boy myself and ask her out"  
*silence*  
NARUTO: THEY ARE MARRIED! Which century are you in?  
SAKURA: *whispers in a very low volume* he probably couldn't figure it out because it's not like my husband was around that much.  
SASUKE: what  
SAKURA: what  
NARUTO: what

SAKURA: Okay it's my turn, Sj222 says- "Naruto why are you gay for Sasuke?"  
SASUKE: Finally! Someone agrees. *throws arms into the air*  
NARUTO: What? What the hell! OBVIOUSLY, this hater doesn't know that both times Sasuke was the one initiated our kiss. And please let me not be reminded of that again.  
SASUKE: Are you a degenerate?  
SAKURA: I thought it looked mutual. Let's see for our selves.

*camera pans to shot of NaruSasu moments montage* *Naruto tugs at his collar, sweatdrops* *Sasuke shifts uncomfortably in his seat* *Sakura has a wide grin plastered to face*

NARUTO: Never do that again.  
SASUKE: No *cringes*  
SAKURA: Well that was fun.  
*Naruto and Sasuke turn to her and frown*

SASUKE: Yowassupdawg writes, -"I wish I could beat up Naruto for marrying Hinata-" *pauses to look at Naruto, who is frowning* "-like bro, you gotta get that-" *clears throat, "-you gotta get that-" I can't say the word here, so, "Sakura right now!"  
SAKURA: It's okay, what does it really say, *Sasuke pushes laptop toward her* *Read's "Saku-pussy"* *eyes deadpan and turn to Naruto*  
NARUTO: I will find this man and I will kill him. He better not talk about my Hinata-chan like that. I mean fuck you. I love her! *rants for 3947291 minutes*  
SAKURA: *cooes at him while he cries into her lap*  
SASUKE: How pathetic. I mean I think we got worse? *points at his chest* and he's crying about that *points at laptop*.

SAKURA: Next comment, here from Nagiisswaggy- "Naruto's pubes are blonde or black? I am confused."  
*giggles uncontrollably and falls onto Sasuke's shoulder*  
SASUKE: *chuckles deeply and smirks*  
NARUTO: WHY IS ANYBODY INTERESTED! NEXT COMMENT! NEXT COMMENT!

NARUTO: Ashleymachor21 asks- "That pink one whats her name?"  
SAKURA: Why do people have such a hard time remembering my name? IT'S SAKURA YOU GUYS! Oh my god!  
SASUKE: They are getting her mixed up with Shino.  
NARUTO: *turns to look at Sasuke and eyes widen* Shino if you are watching this mate, we mean absolutely no offense.  
SASUKE: Why are you even bothering?  
NARUTO: *smacks Sasuke's shoulder*

NARUTO: Wyomingboy writes- "If Sasuke married Sakura the whole world will come to an end. But you will find a Naruto dancing in the background around a bonfire celebrating his SHIP being canon."  
SASUKE: Why does everybody think we aren't married? *looks at Sakura*  
SAKURA: *whispers* probably because you were never there...  
SASUKE: what  
SAKURA: what  
SASUKE: what  
NARUTO: *rolls eyes after clearly hearing her this time*

NARUTO: Okay final and last comment you guys, Randy says- "Sasuke asks Naruto to tell Sakura he is sorry. But then Naruto says he is the one who is sorry. So that means Naruto fucked Sakura when Sasuke was gone."  
SAKURA: *eyes widen in horror*  
SASUKE: *eyes stare into oblivion, trying to rationalize*  
NARUTO: Yo man, I am so sorry. I mean I meant to tell you the other day about this but you just left and all that. So I'll just say it now. Sakura and I we have been-  
SAKURA: *slaps Naruto's arm repeatedly*  
NARUTO: *laughs uncontrollably*  
SASUKE: *sweatdrops, eyebrows twitch in repulsion as his mind goes into imagination*  
NARUTO: I can't breathe. I CAN'T BREATHE! Boy, this is what happens when you skip too many episodes.  
SAKURA: *whispers* or when your husband isn't around so much that people start questioning the legality of your marriage.  
SASUKE: what  
SAKURA: what *eyes deadpan*  
NARUTO: *eyes twitch because he heard her very clearly.*

NARUTO: So that was all you guys. Thank you for watching us getting insulted. I hope you enjoyed.  
SAKURA: Way to rake up the sarcasm.  
SASUKE: He's right. They probably enjoyed it.

 _ **Hehe, I know this was such an unusual ONE SHOT. But if you guys enjoyed this then drop your reviews and comments. Tell me if you want me to continue something like this with other people or some other scenarios such as reacting to other things. Also if you want me to add some comments of your own send them in! CIAO~!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everybody, welcome back. I have had so many of you tell me how much you wanted me to do a SasuSaku and Naruhina edition of this. So I got around to finishing this continuation right about yesterday. Hope this knocks some of you out of your chairs because most comments I have added here are ACTUAL ones I picked up from Instagram fan pages/bashing pages and Google/Reddit threads. Enjoy! Review this ya'll if you want me to do another edition with other characters/pairings/situations.**

-x-x-x-

 _Sasuke & Sakura walk into a room while Naruto and Hinata walk into another room, they sit in front a giant digital screen that reads the word's, "SasuSaku" and "NaruHina" on their respective screens. _

SAKURA: Wow, okay.  
SASUKE: *trying hard to keep a straight face, fails and smirks instead*  
SAKURA: Is that what the fans call us? *turns to Sasuke*  
SASUKE: Didn't we get dissed enough the last time that we agreed to do this again?  
SAKURA: But they wanted us to do it again since the last time was such a riot among the fans. Don't tell me you didn't have fun?  
SASUKE: I didn't. I had to rewatch the tapes a dozen times to figure out what you were mumbling and now I finally know. *scorns before crossing arms across chest and turning away*  
SAKURA: *eyes widen as she searches for words*  
OH! I almost forgot you guys, it's Sasuke's 33rd birthday today. So wish him, Happy birthday! *turns toward him and clasps his ONLY arm tightly*  
SASUKE: *still scorning* *tries very hard to reject Sakura's PDA*  
*eyes hovering in the opposite direction*  
*realizes he looks like a stubborn child and that Sarada might be watching*  
*tilts head gently to look at Sakura who's staring at him intently with her green doe-like eyes*  
*shamefully smiles, hiding his growing blush*  
SAKURA: *smiles back timidly at her husband's hesitation*

* _in the room where Naruto & Hinata are*_

NARUTO: So the last time Hinata, when we were here, you won't believe the number of times Sasuke-teme got roasted. Like they were things he was called I couldn't even think of.  
HINATA: I did watch the tape you know.  
NARUTO: You did, huh? *hides embarrassment because of obvious exaggeration*  
HINATA: Yes uh, it was very mean. So many atrocious things that people said. I wonder what we'll get to hear today.  
NARUTO: Well, you better be prepared huh. *Turning to the camera*, Hey Everybody, my Hinata-chan here is a very soft and emotional person. You better not call her shitty things or I will pipe a Rasengan down your a**hole!  
HINATA: *blushes deeply and on the brink of fainting* mhm shall we start?  
NARUTO: Why does the monitor read NaruHina?  
HINATA: Oh it is what the fans call us Naruto-kun. You know, Naru and Hina.  
NARUTO: Wow, I never thought of it. That's great. Okay, let's start.  
HINATA: Right, just before we start though I wanted to tell the viewers something.  
NARUTO: Yeah?  
HINATA: It's blonde. *hides blush and adjusts herself in her seat* (you'll get it if you read the previous chapter)  
NARUTO: Eh?  
HINATA: Let's begin huh?  
NARUTO: Oi!

SASUKE: So is this thing going to start or what?  
SAKURA: Yeah, we have been here for a while. I wonder what Naruto and Hinata are up to.  
SASUKE: Tch. Who cares?  
*suddenly the word SasuSaku disappears from monitor and a statement appears*  
 **COMMENT: Hey Sakura, how does it feel like marrying the guy who tried to kill you? Like a dozen times? How does it feel like being a permanent victim of the Stockholm's syndrome?**  
SASUKE: *gulps*  
SAKURA: *in deep thought before speaking* It feels very relieving. In fact, Sasuke-kun makes me do all the household work, even the really grimy and dirty kind. He abandoned me for the entirety of our marriage after I gave birth to our child and well, things have never been better *flashes a sarcastic smile*  
SASUKE: *gulps down the lump in his throat*  
SAKURA: *smacks Sasuke's back* I WAS JOKING, MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FELL FOR IT! HAHAHAHAHA!  
SASUKE: *eyes his wife oddly before frowning uncomfortably*  
*long pause*  
SAKURA: *in serious tone* Honestly, if I had to continue on one hand how many times a lot of people who were my friends wanted to harm me, well I'd need more hands. *smiles before turning to Sasuke*  
Sasuke and I, we uhm... uh-  
SASUKE: -Love each other. *turns away from the camera hiding his flushed cheeks*  
SAKURA: Yes. *purrs softly and leans onto his shoulder*  
SASUKE: *tugs on his collar uncomfortably*

NARUTO: Hmm, this is an interesting one.  
HINATA: *blushes and lips settle into a frown slowly*  
 **COMMENT: Why did the Naruto show producers even bother to hire a voice actor for Hinata when her only dialogue in the entire show was "Naruto-kun".**  
NARUTO: Hinata said other things too. You know, like...  
*long pause*  
*crickets creek*  
*camera pans to a time-lapse shot of grass growing, glaciers melting, flowers blooming, newly born birds hatching out of eggs, a wild Boruto marrying Sarada with a grumpy Sasuke in the background, the birth of their first child with a weeping Naruto in the background*  
HINATA: I-uh-I. I think we should just skip to the next comment, Naruto-kun.  
NARUTO: *tilts head slowly in a dreadful gaze* *nods*

 **COMMENT: I am glad Sasuke wasn't really around Sakura that much after they married. God knows how many more emo Uchiha killer-machine babies she would have popped out by now. They'd have practically started a whole new village of their own.**  
SASUKE: *glares in shame and embarrassment*  
SAKURA: I wouldn't mind. *shrugs*  
SASUKE: *looks at his wife who he clearly sometimes feels is possessed by Satan himself*  
SAKURA: What? Don't tell me you don't wanna have a few more like kiddies? Little brothers, sisters to our Sarada? No?  
SASUKE: You make it sound like it's Origami.  
SAKURA: *flirtily* Well, it does involve a lot of hand work. *smirks deviously, raising an eyebrow*  
SASUKE: *can't stop blushing* *gets up and palms the camera's lens*

 _*muffled noises and giggles*_

NARUTO: Well let's see here, what's our next comment. Come on, we can take it. Can't we Hinata-chan?  
HINATA: *already on the verge of a full blown anxiety attack* *nods sheepishly*  
 **COMMENT: Naruto loved Sakura for a span of 720 episodes. It took Naruto Uzumaki exactly 7 minutes and 20 seconds and a genjutsu to make him realize he suddenly loved Hinata. If this isn't true love idk what is. (sarcasm)**  
NARUTO: *eyes dart to Hinata in obvious uneasiness and worry*  
HINATA: *gulps* Was it really seven hundred and twenty episodes?  
NARUTO: *scratching temples* uh-i don't know, I suppose it was. Um, Hinata-chan, I-  
HINATA: I know you what you are going to say but you don't have to. I know you love me, and I also love you.  
NARUTO: Actually I was gonna say your mouth piece fell inside your shirt and I don't think the viewers are able to hear you.  
HINATA: *freezes* *eyes now turn to the camera and pupils widen*  
NARUTO: But yeah yeah yeah, I love you. More than anything!  
HINATA: *gaze still locked onto the camera, as she falls into the half hug Naruto pulls her into* *eyes narrowing at the camera*  
*mouths the words "stop trying to break our marriage"*

SAKURA: *chuckles* *now starts to giggle* *giggles turn into laughs and slowly yelps in deafening laughter*  
SASUKE: It really wasn't that funny.  
SAKURA: Are you sure you read the right thing? *points at the monitor*  
SASUKE: Yeah *scorns and crosses arms across chest in his typical stubborn-child stance*  
 **COMMENT: Sasuke seems like the kind of guy who'd show up to the beach looking all gothic when everybody's wearing floral. He'd sacrifice children along the shoe, drawing witch symbols in the sand, prancing around a bonfire. While Sakura would just roll her eyes and apply more tanning lotion on to herself and ignoring her psychotic boyfriend.**  
SAKURA: *reads comment again and bursts into louder gags, gripping the couch*  
SASUKE: *scowls at his wife, who he is definitely now sure is possessed by Satan*

NARUTO: Hinata, what's the matter? You don't look too well?  
HINATA: *uneasily squirming in her seat, feeling the anxiety gripping her*  
NARUTO: Are you alright?  
HINATA: Of course I am Naruto-kun. *fake smiles*  
 **COMMENT: Why did you guys name your son Bolt? Was it inspired by how fast Naruto could come? In a lightning bolt?**  
NARUTO: *hides reddening cheeks with his palms* THIS. THIS IS COMPLETELY OUTRAGEOUS. I DEMAND TO TALK TO THE PERSON WHO WROTE THIS. YOU-YOU-!  
HINATA: *grabs Naruto's arm* *calms him down*  
NARUTO: *whimpers in embarrassment*  
HINATA: *anxiety now full blown* *BYAKUGAN ACTIVATES*  
Now listen up you scum-filled, wile and trashy idiot. My husband is the most admirable, kind and loving man that I have ever know apart from my Father. No amount of negativity you throw at me will ever change the way I feel for him. Now as for why we named our son Bolt, it is because he signifies the lock that is required to hold something in place. Like a screw. And as for the other thing, let me assure you we are very happy in that department as well. *trying very hard to suppress blush* *turns toward Naruto*  
NARUTO: Hinata, your mouth piece fell inside your shirt before you started speaking.  
HINATA: My mouth piece, oh. *blushes in embarrassment at her not-so-bright moment*  
NARUTO: Oh, my Hinata-chan. *pulls Hinata into a hug* I love you so much!  
HINATA: *squirming in the tightness of the hug* *muffles an I-love-you in reply*

 _*camera pans to moments in both rooms*_

SASUKE: *stares intently at his near Satan-possessed wife lovingly*  
SAKURA: *stares back, only that her mind has other plans, naughty plans that cannot be described in length in this little asterisk bubble*

NARUTO: *still hugging*  
HINATA: Naruto-kun I think we can leave now.  
*no response*  
HINATA: Naruto-kun?  
NARUTO: ZZZzzzzz...

 ** _*bloopers*_**

 _Naruto and Sakura decide to sit down in one room leaving Sasuke and Hinata in the other after deciding to have a word with each other._

NARUTO: Boy was that some serious grilling? I could swear I felt my marriage slip outta my hands today.  
SAKURA: It was that bad?  
NARUTO: It was hard. Real hard on Hinata-chan though. I mean... *sighs* these people out there, they are DARK. Mean, some of the things these people said are just plain trash and demeaning.  
SAKURA: Now now, *pats Naruto's forehead while he sobs in her lap*  
*long pause*  
NARUTO: I wonder what they're talking about?  
SAKURA: You know, I was wondering the same thing.

 _In the other room..._

*uncomfortable silence that has been there for very long period*  
HINATA: So, Sasuke-kun how have you been?  
SASUKE: Good, hn.  
*long pause*  
HINATA: You don't remember my name do you?  
SASUKE: *eyes widen*

 _*camera zooms out while the two stand in more uncomfortable silence. Sasuke almost contemplating to run away*_

-x-x-x-

 _ **Hahaha! Hey everyone, how was this offbeat version of SasuSaku vs NaruHina? Did ya'll enjoy reading this? I really found it a little trying writing this one because I realize most of them started slipping OOC, but the thing is we haven't really seen them interact so much with each other on screen so much. I kept NaruHina the way they have been portrayed in Boruto but SasuSaku, well this is how I have imagined it to be.**_

 _ **So yes, review and favorite this story and don't forget to write in if you want me to do a Part 3!**_


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